The courage to be vulnerable

By Virginia Winder

Today over coffee with a dear friend, we talked about bravery.

Brene Brown

About being vulnerable, as shared by American researcher and writer Brene Brown.

About being human and all that brings – the love and pain, hurt and happiness, suffering and soul-searching, the uncertainty and fears.

It’s also about following your dreams, your passions, your truths, even when you’re feeling afraid.

My friend is one of the bravest people I know. When her husband was living with a brain tumour that would eventually take his life, she brought up two beautiful girls and also got a degree.

Another woman, a wonderfully colourful soul, is moving to a big city with the intent of spending the last years of her working life helping unions or fellow workers. She’s going even though she hasn’t got a job or a place to live yet. She’s made that commitment to herself.

A man I know gave up work to recover from cancer. This was bravery, because this was at a time when men were always the bread winners of families. He took that leap of faith because he knew if he didn’t, he would die. He had cancer four times and is still alive – 23 years on.

Andrew Judd

Bravery is about changing, being open-minded enough to alter your views completely. That’s what New Plymouth Mayor Andrew Judd did concerning his late understanding and promotion of all things Maori. He put himself on the line completely and he’s suffered backlash from many quarters.

Showing tolerance, forgiveness and kindness towards others can also be large acts of great courage.

Every single time you try something new, read an article that challenges your core beliefs, reach out for help or in answer to someone else’s needs, that takes bravery. Picking up the phone to call someone you’ve meant to for ages or mending a family feud by taking the first step – yep, you’ve got it, that’s bravery.

Simply stepping out of your comfort zone is courageous.

My personal acts of bravery are about commitment and being vulnerable.

This year I plan to write my first novel, learn to make short videos, investigate podcasts and write this blog on a daily basis, as constant as my Facebook flowers (which will continue, after all my world is floral now).

That means you’ll get me when I’m well, in states of hypomania and depression, when I’m frantically busy and when I feel like curling up under the bedclothes to hide from the world. Sometimes writing will be utterly terrifying for me.

New Year’s resolutions aside – bravery can happen on any day and in any guise. It can be standing up to a workplace bully, saying no or saying yes, or it might be  sharing your deepest thoughts with someone you’re close to.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive,” says Brene Brown.

Be brave - for yourself, be yourself.