Living with pain

By Virginia Winder

 

Swimming in the sea is a great distraction.

Pain and priorities have burst my blogging balloon for nearly five weeks.

But not my desire to write or be creative.

You see I have sciatica, a deep pain that stems from my lower back. I feel it from my right hip flowing down my thigh and into my calf. It's nerve pain and it's excruciating.

People always say at funerals or at memorials that he/she never complained. Good on them for being so saintly. I obviously have no halo.

Now before you start feeling sorry for me and rushing round with lasagne (I don't do the cooking anyway), stop.

This ongoing misery has got me thinking of others in long-term agony, who end up at the pain clinic.

I have a dear friend with rheumatoid arthritis, which badly affects her hands, and another friend who is riddled with this debilitating disease. I know people with fibromyalgia, a condition that causes ongoing pain, and others with chronic regional pain syndrome following accidents.

A lovely man I know hurts constantly after being knocked off his bicycle.

All around us are people in physical pain. Like mental illness, it's hidden.

For me sitting and standing are tough, but I got a great tip out of the blue yesterday - use ice.

So I wrote a story with ice packs on my hip/bum and calf and the nerve pain was literally numbed. That treatment will be duplicated in the oncoming weeks when I have many other stories to write.

Another friend turned up with heat treatment and that’s great too.

It must be said though, I do crave lying down because that’s when the pain dissipates.

But I have to keep going, seeing people, having coffee (caffeine is a pain killer) and of course enjoying this magnificent summer.

Movement is essential too, as Harvard University says.

"Conservative treatment — a catchall term for everything but surgery — of sciatica used to emphasize inactivity, even bed rest," Harvard experts say. "But that’s changed, so clinicians now typically advise patients to keep up their daily activities as much as possible."

The best treatment for constant pain is distraction.

Going for a swim in the sea is the wonder drug for me.

I discovered this in 1999 when my parents died together in a car crash. Two days later I went for a swim at Back Beach with my husband, brother and a friend.

And in that wild sea, which rushed and tumbled us about, I could feel no pain.

These past five weeks the rumble hush of waves has saved me again.

Not only am I buoyant in the sea, I am also completely in the moment. Nothing matters except the never-ending waves to dive under or to sprint-swim catch and fly with.

Then there are guided mindfulness meditations, especially one called loving kindness meditation, which is centuries old. Another helpful one is called compassionate hand. I do these lying down because sitting hurts too much. These help me to focus on something else other than my body and ensure my mind stays well.

Listening to audio books helps to distract me as does writing and work, most of which are carried out on my mobile devices while lying down. This blog is written on my phone. I've also been writing on my iPad and of course have had a couple of stints on the computer.

Yes, pain is a pain, but mine will soon disappear (touch wood).

So be gentle with people, especially those you don't know. If they're a little cranky or a touch sharp in a shop, pause for a minute and wonder what's happening in their lives.

Kindness is powerful medicine.